Friday, March 4, 2016

Grief

I was eight years old when I lost my best friend. A kind of pain that at 8 years old I did not know how to process. I internalized what I felt, knowing I had to move on because what else do you do? I know many of you have lost someone important to you and trying to process the information becomes unbearable at points. As he celebrates his birthday today in heaven I sit and wonder what he would be like. Would he be proud of my accomplishments? What we would all do to just have that last moment with our loved ones. As I get old I get even more scared that I will forget the little details I used to love about him. I could not comprehend on why or how God could do this to my family? As I have gotten older, I have realized that sometimes horrible situations happen to good people. No one knows why situations happen, but God. All I know is God needed one phenomenal angel that day. Even 10+ years now I never have fully grieved. I do not know if we ever can fully have our hearts heal after losing someone so close. I looked up to him in so many ways that an 8 year old could. I know God never means to hurt us, but he does have a plan for our lives. He had a plan for Jordan on July 4th of 2005. He had a plan for our family, even though we still do not understand or ever will. God is ultimately in control and I believe we have to come to accept this truth.




                                                        Happy 25th Birthday Jordan.
                                                 You will forever be missed and loved.                                                                    
                                         I hope I am living with as much spontaneity as you 
                                         and showing Christ's love as you would want me to.

Blesses are those who mourn, for they will comforted. -Matthew 5:4

Lots of Love,


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